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I’m not weird I’m just extra creative
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I’m just here until retirement or collapse
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My job is mostly opening tabs
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I’m not ignoring I’m prioritizing snacks currently
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I’m multitasking I can ignore you twice
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Please ignore previous urgent non urgency
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We reduced efficiency for better tracking
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I attend meetings for the background noise
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I attend meetings for emotional damage
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We value synergy and meaningless buzzwords