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I tried adulting it’s extremely overrated honestly
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This meeting could have been silence
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My optimism was terminated without notice
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I need coffee before making any decisions
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I need a nap after that nap
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I tracked productivity by counting meetings
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I’m not short I’m concentrated awesome energy
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I need a six month vacation twice
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I came I saw I forgot everything
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I exist primarily in Outlook calendar
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I need coffee before making bad decisions
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My dreams are permanently out of office
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Please circle back after infinite delay
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Please document why you did work
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This KPI measures creative ambiguity only
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I have questions but no motivation today
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Please reply urgently at your convenience
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My soul is currently out sick