I tried adulting it’s extremely overrated honestly
This meeting could have been silence
My optimism was terminated without notice
I need coffee before making any decisions
I need a nap after that nap
I tracked productivity by counting meetings
I’m not short I’m concentrated awesome energy
I need a six month vacation twice
I came I saw I forgot everything
I exist primarily in Outlook calendar
I need coffee before making bad decisions
My dreams are permanently out of office
Please circle back after infinite delay
Please document why you did work
This KPI measures creative ambiguity only
I have questions but no motivation today
Please reply urgently at your convenience
My soul is currently out sick