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I have zero chill but lots enthusiasm
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I attend meetings for emotional damage
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Productivity is now a deprecated feature
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I need coffee before acting like adult
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We define success after missing targets
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I open inbox and feel immediate regret
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I came here to nap successfully again
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My brain left the office hours ago
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My dreams are now performance reviews
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I attend meetings that solve nothing ever
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We fixed it by breaking more
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We achieved nothing but documented everything
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I need coffee to survive mornings
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I’m not tired just permanently low battery
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I’m not late I’m time optimistic daily
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I read emails then immediately forget everything
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I attend meetings for mental deterioration
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My motivation is no longer supported
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I work here until hope crashes
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I have zero chill but lots enthusiasm